La Femme Crayola (annlarimer) wrote,
La Femme Crayola

...and how was your weekend?

Stopped for dinner on Friday. Came out of restaurant into pouring rain. Like, pouring as though from God's own giant picnic pitcher. Like, I CANNOT SEE BECAUSE IT IS RUNNING OFF MY HEAD INTO MY EYES WHAT THE ACTUAL FUCK. Puddle-bombed by a truck, only realized it because of the impact against my leg. Already too wet to actually feel it. Bus came, got the shakes from the air conditioning. Wrung out cuff into a little puddle on the floor, like a cartoon character. Got off at stop to walk home. Still raining. Total strangers stop their cars to ask if I need a ride. "No. No, thank you. I'm nearly there, will only wreck your upholstery, and I literally cannot get any wetter." Got home. Dumped saturated clothing in bathtub, with squelching noise.

Pros: Rain was actually warm. Free shower.
Cons: See above.

Woke Saturday to feel as though I had been beaten with sticks, due to sheer quantity of water. Forced self out into heat to buy milk. Massive storm Saturday night that downed trees, blew trashcans half a block, etc. New neighborhood features include tiny house with large tree inside, electric wires entangled with backyard trampoline. Went outside to help move tree limbs out of street. Power went out.
Neighbor lady: "I looked out the window and wondered if I ought to head for the basement."
Me: "I was playing Pokemon, so I thought, Fuck it."

Pros: Bought milk, defeated Elite Four again, gutters cleaned.
Cons: Impossible to charge DS, phone, etc. Or read. Or wash clothing. Or really anything involving electricity or being able to see.

Still no power Sunday. Sound of chainsaws everywhere because boys love that shit. I can't get to my saws or clippers because the garage opens electronically and I can't find the override key. Everything in the fridge and freezer is now lost, except the Oreos, Diana's coffee, and the soda. There is only one soda. I can't make any coffee. Sit by window reading, drinking water. Contemplate inevitable dystopian Mad Max society that will rise if we don't have electricity by 6 pm. Consider walking to bagel place, but I have no idea how far the blackout extends, and the matter of clean underwear is reaching a crisis point. Power comes on at 3:30. Begin throwing out dead food, including brand-new, unopened milk from Saturday. Take cart up hill to quickie mart, have fucking terrible piece of pizza for dinner, even more fucking terrible cup of coffee, stupidly large cold soda. Cart home more milk. Do laundry. Charge devices.

Pros: learned not to test dicey milk by sniffing it, bought new milk, survived apocalypse, home not destroyed, read most of a Kage Baker, given Dratini by Dragon Clan Master (named it Arthur), did not get oral tetanus lyme herpes from pizza. Also, I had forgotten all about those Oreos.
Cons: Bored, hot, hungry, filthy, significant financial hit, garbage cans now total possum magnet.
Tags: books, it burns jim, pokemon

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