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tales of interest you guys box with numbers in inflammation the panda won't stop screaming backwards backwards frontwards frontwards
Thanks, ants. — LiveJournal
The long lost Darkplace Christmas special wraps up some loose, dangly, stumpy ends from the series, here: http://archiveofourown.org/works/512857

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mood: cold cold

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17 human heads found in package at O'Hare

"There was no sign of foul play, according to authorities." It actually says that.

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mood: curious curious

Flavogg heard 5 supplications or speak to the Mighty Flavogg
"Drug-resistant gonorrhea has come to North America" -- salon.com

Thank God it's finally out on Region 1!

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mood: hungry hungry

Flavogg heard 4 supplications or speak to the Mighty Flavogg

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mood: working working

Flavogg heard 3 supplications or speak to the Mighty Flavogg
I've been playing Animal Crossing for the DS for a couple of weeks, and I've finally figured out why it's so disturbing and why I can't stop. It's basically a really adorable version of The Prisoner. I'm Number Six (and Number One, since I've got the X button), Tom Nook is Number Two, the bees are Rover, the clothes are stupid, there is no functioning government, every episode begins with me waking up in a strange room, and if I leave, I will only end up in an identical place.

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where: The Village
mood: irritated irritated

Flavogg heard 4 supplications or speak to the Mighty Flavogg
AUTHORS: annlarimer and rosencrantz (crantz to you)
FANDOM: Hot Fuzz
SUMMARY: Danny fails at boudoir photography
WORD COUNT: 770 it says here
WARNINGS: American spelling
DISCLAIMER: Hot Fuzz belongs to the boys and girls at Rogue and Big Talk and their friends.

By Phosfate and Rosencrantz

1.33 p.m. GMT

DButterman: sent u a pic nick. picnic!

ACartwright: Learn to use your fucking phone.

1.34 p.m. GMT

Angel777: I enjoyed our evening last night, Danny, and am examining your photograph with great interest

Read moreCollapse )

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mood: chipper chipper

Flavogg heard 11 supplications or speak to the Mighty Flavogg
Al Pacino and Sidney Lumet in a very special omegaverse RPS: Dog Dick Afternoon.

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where: hoam
mood: hot hot
noise: ancient air conditioners

Flavogg heard 6 supplications or speak to the Mighty Flavogg
john: do you think angry birds is actually anti-martian police officer?

me: Um...the hell are you talking about? Oh, the green pigs?

john: yes

me: Ah.I think it merely seeks to express the eternal conflict between bird and pig in a miniature format. A microcosm of the greater macrocosm, as it were. Much in the same way Wacky Races depicted the neverending race of evolution, a race that can never be won, yet is mandatory for all life. Or the way that Yogi Bear depicts the societal stresses that occur when authority defends the privileged class against those who have little legal means of obtaining necessary resources.

john: I thought Yogi just really liked picnic baskets

me: John. John. You've got to look for the bigger picture.

john: :( this philosophy is too deep for a hamster

me: You're gonna need more college if you really want to learn how to lay on the bullshit, son. Consider Rudolph, and its depiction of 20th-Century American masculinity. Donner and cohorts are depicted as the elite, but when it comes down to it, do they really have agency? They compete for a place in harness!

john: maybe it's a bondage thing

me: All right. Rudolph as a sexual text, then. The male reindeer see themselves as wholesome family men. But their real purpose is to be lashed together, 'pulling the train' for Santa. Their deepest, most important bonds are with one another, not their mates. But if one suggested such a thing, they would be horrified -- even murderous.

john: !!

me: Think of them as a pro football team.

john: ohhh

me: All their work time spent in intimate contact. Their off time concerned with demonstrating their heteronormative masculinity. To the point where society covertly endorses their acts of violence, especially those against women. Their personal power is harnessed and therefore acceptable. Though none of the reindeer will ever be allowed an administrative role, and reindeer who actively demonstrate awareness or difference are shunned and scapegoated. Santa is always in charge, John.

john: the man in red

me: The man.

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mood: busy busy

Flavogg heard 6 supplications or speak to the Mighty Flavogg
Anita: heya.
me: Hullo?
Anita: hey there im laura 23 female from ny. you?
me: I am only one of those things. Have we met, Anita?
Anita: oh cool! im sooooo bored.. i feel like getting on my cam. do you want to watch?
me: I think you have mistaken me for someone else, Anita.
Anita: k well my webcam is linked through this website so that i can not be recorded.
so you will have to sign up there. is that ok?
me: Anita, seriously, you are totally barking up the wrong tree.
Anita: k its really easy. just go here http://notarealurl and click on the goldish JOIN FREE button at the top and fill out your info. k?
me: No. I cannot emphasize that strongly enough: no.
Anita: also it will ask for a credit card when u signup but its just to make sure your over 18. it dosent charge it.
me: Perhaps one of your school friends might be interested?
Anita: cant let the kids see my boobies. hehe.
me: Or your dad? You are really skeeving me, Anita.
Anita: hurry up babe i wanna have some fun. if you know what i mean
me: Not really, no.
Anita: lets talk on the site when you get signed up. my messenger is messing up here.
me: Are you a robot, Anita? Just curious. In any case, it's been lovely chatting with you, I guess, but I fear I am taking up too much of your time.
1:55 PM You have blocked Anita. You can no longer see each other online or chat together. Unblock Anita

mood: uncomfortable uncomfortable

Flavogg heard 10 supplications or speak to the Mighty Flavogg
So last night, I was gonna get dinner and buy groceries. No big thing.
First I get my prescription refill. Then I walk to the burger place and order dinner. I put my backpack down on a table, and notice that the bottom is damp. So is the back of my shirt, where the pack rested against it. I must've put it in something wet, I think. Maybe they'd just wiped the counter at the drug store.
Then I notice it smells kinda like vanilla hand sanitizer.
Then I pull out the clipboard with the printout of the story I'm beta-ing, and OH DEAR GOD I have just found out what happened to the pot of yogurt I thought I'd forgotten to pack that morning. Dinner goes cold while I try to get it off my hands and the ms and rescue my books.
I can no longer use my backpack, which is kind of a big deal in a town where public transport shuts down at 6:30.
I explain to a staff person that I need to leave my stuff there while I go up the block and get a 99-cent eco-bag from the drug store.
The drug store no longer has 99-cent eco-bags. "We gave them to charity last week."
"Do you have any tote bags at all?"
"They'd be right here if we did." There is nothing there.
"Well, balls." I am pretty sure I don't say this out loud.
I end up with a hideous Hallmark giant gift bag and hustle back down the hill.
I shift my stuff into the bag, finish my food, and walk to the grocery store. The staff keep subtly glancing into the giant gift bag (now in my cart) to make sure I'm not shoplifting hams. I am not, in fact, shoplifting hams. I don't get home until 9:00.
There are probably things more unpleasant that scooping lukewarm yogurt and detritus out of a backpack with your bare hand, but I don't really want to experience them.
I shove the backpack into the washing machine. I don't think that the leather straps or brass findings or the cardboard that shapes the bottom panel really enjoyed it much. But now it smells like Arm and Hammer Free instead of rancid vanilla dairy.
I really hope I get through the manuscript quickly. It's kinda stiff.

Excerpt from a Google chat.
me: I had a tub of vanilla yogurt come open in my bag.
cybertardis: Ew ew ew. That's like having...OH GOD NO
me: Yes. Yes, it is. Yes.
cybertardis: *holds you*

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mood: tired tired

Flavogg heard 9 supplications or speak to the Mighty Flavogg
Usually outside has all kinds of nifty Easter eggs. Like, Saturday I got the neverending battle between mallhawk and blackbirds, and a couple of feral cats, and the usual bunnies and squirrels and those things that look like giant flying pornstaches. Some kinda carrion bird they re-introduced, I dunno.

Today, I got ant swarms. Three, in different places. Two were horizontal ant rivers along stretches of sidewalk. The third was this massive pile of ants by the minimart, and looked like the deluge in that silent Noah's ark film that's supposed to have drowned a bunch of extras.

I don't like to be all judgy about nature, but I really do not approve of swarms of things.

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where: antville
mood: scared antxious
noise: an anthem

Flavogg heard 17 supplications or speak to the Mighty Flavogg
Anyone who uses the phrase, "Now, I'm no Holmes purist" in a review of anything Sherlock Holmes is about to completely lose their shit over some perceived crime against Conan Doyle, Holmes, the readers, or humanity committed by the work reviewed.

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mood: bored bored

Flavogg heard 18 supplications or speak to the Mighty Flavogg
I've just realized that I had so little church action as a kid that I may be the only person in the Western Hemisphere who was unspoiled for the ending of Jesus Christ, Superstar.

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mood: nostalgic nostalgic
noise: patti talking forever shut up patti

Flavogg heard 16 supplications or speak to the Mighty Flavogg

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Hulk and Black widow, Sharpie fine point.

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mood: chipper chipper

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I am large with wholesome food, and bought manga. WHO AM I??? WHAT HAVE I DONE WITH ME???

Before you ask, it's the new translation of Until the Full Moon and its sequels. Shut up.

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mood: full full

Flavogg heard 2 supplications or speak to the Mighty Flavogg